Wishing all of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Christmas
23 Friday Dec 2011
Posted Uncategorized
in23 Friday Dec 2011
Posted Uncategorized
inWishing all of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
16 Friday Dec 2011
Posted children, Fab Friday, kindness, life, motherhood
inIntroducing Fab Fridays.….I will share something I think is simply Fab-u-lous! Well I might not always think it’s FABULOUS, but it was the only thing that went with friday….so…..Fab Friday it is….woot woot!!!
This Fab Friday is also a great Christmas gift idea….or at least I think so. Several years ago, when my oldest, Erin, who is about to be 22 graduated from 8th grade I began writing my children letters.
I would write them for 8th grade graduation, highschool graduation and a few years ago I began writing them on Christmas….I stick them in an envelope and place the envelope in the tree, I even did one for my husband last year.
I write all the things I am proud of, ranging from accomplishments to hurdles overcome to the qualities I admire and encouragement to hang in there if times are difficult at the moment. Try as we may, parenting often becomes about “policing” and relationships get lost in the daily grind of our lives. I, for one, always have the best intentions at heart, but I all too often talk to my children about what they are doing wrong…..sigh.
Graduations happen sporadically, however Christmas is once a year and affords us a wonderful opportunity to “say” lots of positive remarks to the ones that we love.
I often wonder if my children are keeping their letters, I hope that they are, but WHO KNOWS!!!!
In any case, this year, I will write my letter in a story book that I picked up for 5 bucks at Kohl’s….
YES…even my older kids will get this book…it will make a nice keepsake….they can read it to their children when they are 35….jus’ sayin!
I wish I had started doing this when they were younger, but later is better than never…right??!!
Husbands really like this gift too…btw! My advice….
DO NOT WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS EVE to begin writing…last year I was up until 2am…..FIVE KIDS….ugh!!!
I am starting mine today….hopefully one a day!
Enjoy your day!
And start your letters!!
15 Thursday Dec 2011
Posted children, expectations, Fun, kindness, life, motherhood, Talia, teenagers
inTags
Hey everyone! It has been a crazy week here….I can’t believe we are one week away from Christmas. My schedule has been chock full of concerts, shopping, parties etc. I don’t know about you guys, but this Christmas I have really had to minimize the Christmas shopping. We are really feeling the pinch of the economy here…are you guys?
So what has been happening here at The Naked Mom?
I have my daughter’s Christmas concert this morning, so I will try to wrap this up quickly…ha!
I am all done with Christmas stuff, which is a huge PLUS since today I begin my STRIKE…yep you heard me…STRIKE! No dinners, no lunches, no chauffeur service…have fun kids and hubby! I await your humble-grovel-like apologies with bated breath!!
I was on a mad-man like hunt for this dang huge nylon frisbee thing that I could not find anywhere…posted a pleading cry for help to FB and now I have FIVE….hehe!! Guess what every little person is getting from me this year as a bonus feature gift…HA!! I love FB…thanks again Stacy!!
So how did I end up with FIVE, you inquire??
I bought three online as a result of the ingenious goggle searching of my dear friend Stacy.
Why THREE??
Because what if one doesn’t get here in time….and you know one will definitely get lost in the transit AND ONE will be confiscated by the UPS guy, who has been on the same mind-killing frantic search as me…DUH!!
The last TWO I picked up from the VERY SWEET assistant manager at 5 Below, where I initially saw the DANG HUGE FLYING DISC THINGY, he spent 3 DAYS scouring his back room for old summer stock, after I animatedly revealed my heart-wrenching story about THIS DUMB FLYING THING (the ONE thing Talia kept telling the man in red that she wanted)…yes she wants an embellished DOG TOY…HEEELLLLOOOO TAL…ever hear of AMERICAN GIRL DOLL…sheesh!?
In any case, back to my sweet assistant manager, he spent days rummaging through their stock room and called me….oh about TWO SECONDS AFTER I purchased THREE ONLINE….. and exclaimed with breathy EXCITEMENT that he had UNEARTHED TWO….yep TWO.…now how could I NOT go and buy them from the man, the man who SAVED my ass from having to reveal to my LAST AND YOUNGEST child that Santa DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST, that he is , in fact, merely your SCHMUCKY mom and dad, who STINK at finding HUGE NYLONY FLYING DISC THINGYS!!??
Thank you Mr. 5 Below…..your Karma is good and clean now, for sure!!
I also, desperately wanted to take the girls into NYC to see the tree and the decorated windows, but funds were tight, but with perseverance, I discovered, with my wonderful friend Nicole, that you CAN do the city on a budget. Here’s how….
Pack lunches.
Drive in with a friend (I did gas and tolls, she did parking and we split a 6 dollar cab ride).
We each spent about 30 dollars…not bad, considering that if I had taken the train…you know the way the higher-ups are ENCOURAGING everyone to go…mass transportation…it would have cost me 80 dollars just for train fare….WHAT!! Dear Powers That Be, if you want the general population to use mass transportation….MAKE IT AFFORDABLE!!!! Jus’ Sayin!
Our Adventure in pics…..
On our way to get Nicole and Liam….
We’re HERE!! (did someone say DIAMONDS!!??)
Attempting to get a group shot, but Talia wouldn’t STOP walking…sigh.
The tree and the skaters….pretty, pretty.
The GRINCH, who in true Grinch-like fashion DEMANDED a TIP for a picture taken with OUR OWN camera….sheesh!!
The windows were gorgeous, sorry no pictures!
And last, but not least a quick stop at….
The day ended with lots of smiles…..
We found our parking garage EASILY and hopped right into the tunnel. There were NO MAJOR meltdowns and the day went off without a hitch, except for missing our EXIT and DRIVING 30 MINUTES OUT OF OUR WAY on the ride home, BUT thanks to….
GINORMOUS lollipops and a small ration of sweets for the older girls….ALL WAS WELL!!!
YAY US!!
NYC on a budget!! Thanks Nicole for coming with me….do you think our hubbies will get the Cartier hint….HA!!
Off to a concert!!
14 Wednesday Dec 2011
Posted Beauty, Photos, Wordless Wednesdays
in07 Wednesday Dec 2011
Posted life
inHere is a post from a friend of mine that I really enjoyed reading and agree so much with her words…..click here to check it out This Runner’s Fuel
07 Wednesday Dec 2011
Posted children, motherhood, Photos, Talia, Wordless Wednesdays
in06 Tuesday Dec 2011
Cherish yesterday.
Dream of tomorrow.
Live for today.
Such a simple, yet profound little quote. Yesterday is what got us to the place we are now. Good or bad. Happy of sad. It enables us to make choices now stemming from the knowledge and experiences of our yesterdays.
Dreaming of tomorrow gives us joy. Be creative with your dreams…they are where all of our possibilities live.
Most importantly, always live for today…being in the moment allows us to truly experience our life as it unfolds before us. We are not promised tomorrow and yesterday is over, our present is the gift…. unwrap each moment as if it were a package.
Live.
Laugh.
Love.
05 Monday Dec 2011
Posted Beauty, children, expectations, Fun, kindness, life, motherhood, Thankfulness
inIronic how this is the season of peace, joy, hope and love and so many of us find ourselves stressed, sad, in despair and angry.
Stressed over money and purchasing the exact perfect gift for the weirdo family member we hardly care for or ever see!!
Sad over loved ones not here with us to celebrate the dysfunction of the holiday season.
In despair over life’s, often times, cruel reality.
Angry that little-granny-silver hair just STOLE OUR parking spot…I mean who the heck does she think she is…..just cuz she’s all senior citizeny doesn’t mean she gets DIBS on all the spots…does it???!! Now I have to walk…RRRRRRR!
The irony of this season, whether you believe in God or not, is that we celebrate the birth of a man who renounced worldly possessions BY BUYING worldly posesssions….HA!!
This is not a post about NOT giving gifts etc. I am an all-american gift-buying, tree-cutting, believer in Jesus Christmas celebrator….sigh!
I am here to offer a CHALLENGE…it is Monday, after all and perhaps a tip to shift your attitude from Mr. Grinch to Mr. Cratchit.
I believe that we set our expectations too high, which sets us up for bitterness and resentment, keeping us from joy, peace, love and hope. We do this everyday in regard to almost every aspect of our lives. Since it is Christmas, I will give you an example of how my MOST dreaded family activity has transformed itself to my one of my favorite family events by simply lowering my bar of expectation, in fact, in this instance I REMOVED the bar COMPLETELY….five kids people, five kids….there can be NO bar , if I want joy, peace, love and hope….jus’ sayin!!
Christmas Tree shopping…..sigh….oh and please don’t write me some holier than thou email about how UN-GREEN I am…I have checked into the whole singing and dancing elves that deliver your potted tree and then remove it and plant it afterward…and guess what…..this service is ONLY available on the WEST COAST….so ZIP IT!!
In any case, this yearly event quickly became a horrific nightmare that I dreaded each year.
My expectation list:
All of my children would share in my excitement and enthusiasm of venturing into the forest of piney trees.
All of my children AND MY HUSBAND would have IDENTICAL taste and ideas of what “the perfect tree” looked like….ha!
They would all share and welcome the christmas spirit and desire to assist in the cutting and securing of the tree.
They would decorate like well-behaved-polite-politically-correct debutants instead of like a bunch of uncouth-nasty-club-bearing-neanderthals….ugh!
Needless to say, I returned home angry and appalled by the shallow, selfish, disgruntled children I was raising, I mean for Pete’s Sake…..did they NOT UNDERSTAND how very FORTUNATE they were to even have the means to AFFORD a dang Christmas Tree??!! HOW DARE THEY??!!
Around the time I turned 35 and added yet ONE more BUNDLE OF UNENDING JOY (not at all said in dripping sarcasm) to the clan, I transformed my attitude and expectations…..I think 35 is the age where most of us begin to mellow out, maybe not…if you are beyond the age of 35 and are still the same ball of stress you have always been…might I suggest the book Zen Heart….really, it’s time to chill…life really is very short, why not enjoy yours?!
So….how did me changing my outlook CHANGE the whole event….if you are wondering if my shift miraculously altered the very nature of my children (nature of all children)…
NOPE! NO DICE! BIG FAT NADA!!
There is usually still a spat between some of them.
One is ALWAYS ticked about the tree that has been selected…usuually OLIVIA…sorry to sell you out like that Liv, but perhaps your embarrassment will lead to a TRANSFORMATION in YOUR ATTITUDE….jus’ sayin…LUV YA!!
And for PETE’s SAKE it is still difficult to get a dang picture by the tree with everyone looking (they were all….the sun’s too bright…blah, blah, blah), BUT…..and here comes the transformation….
I DON’T CARE!!
I know who my children are.
I know the kind, caring adults they will EVENTUALLY transform into…..fingers crossed..hehe.
There are MORE moments of my family playing, laughing, partaking in a oh-so-friendly-not-seeking-revenge-for-the-year’s-wrongdoing snowball fight (that is if there is snow) than there are sulking and arguing. It all depends on where your focus is…truly. If I am seeking out, standing in alert, ready for battle….then you can be damn sure you will discover one!
This principle is the same for merriment of the season….if you stand expectantly….
PEACEfully (dropping your expectations for the perfect day) in the….
HOPE to witness…..
JOY of your HEALTHY, VIBRANT family which you created together in
LOVE….you WILL experience it!
There is beauty in each moment, yes even the chaotic ones, we just need to acquisition them….truly.
And one more tip: Let Go Of The Guilt….just let it go…it serves NO PURPOSE…
We are human.
Beautifully flawed.
So what if you go all verbally ninja on your child here and there…..APOLOGIZE and move on…maybe save for therapy instead of college…KIDDING!!
Really….stop creating failure.
Tune into those precious-not-so-perfect moments….they are where perfection resides.
They are where hope, joy, love and peace reside.
Enjoy the season….the sentiment of the season….
Breathe.
And breathe again.
Create your peace.
Create your joy.
Create your hope.
Create your love.
Enjoy your day!
02 Friday Dec 2011
Posted children, Fun, motherhood, Talia
inSome more quotes from Talia, who now speaks with some strange un-identifiable accent…..
This morning we were running for the bus, which came EIGHT MINUTES TOO EARLY….sheesh….pick your time peeps!! We ran out the door to the end of the driveway….me, desperately attempting to jam her lunch and water bottle into her bag and zip it back up….a line of cars forming behind the bus (we live on a county road that serves as a short cut from route 31 traffic)…I am sure those people were ever SO PLEASED with me…ha! We reach the bus…I try to kiss her goodbye…she brushes me away and says….
“Mom, there is no time for super-dee-dup-dup-duper day kisses and I think my nose is going to bleed from all of this rushing”….HUH!!??
I get the no time for super stuff….I say it to her each morning before she gets on the bus, BUT what the heck is she talking about with the nose-bleed….sigh.
Two other quotes of hers lately are:
When you tell her you love her…she replies with a higher pitched voice donning a mix between a british and chinese accent…..
“Why thank you very much.”
The other comes out of the blue…say when you’re watching a show with her or other completely RANDOM times….she pats your head or rubs your shoulder, looks you in the eye and says (again with that same weird dialect)….
“You’re a good one….uh huh, yep, you’re a good one.”
Have a great weekend everyone! And remember…..
“You’re a good one….uh huh, yep, you’re a good one.”
01 Thursday Dec 2011
Posted friendship, kindness, life
inI was blessed growing up with 3 best friends, Tracey, Doreen (we were all the same age) and Debbie (sister to Tracey, one year younger than us)….you know the kind of friends that make each other laugh so hard you pee your pants….LITERALLY….it has been a while since we have made each other pee our pants, but the friendship of all of us has withstood the test of time. We have worked through drag down, knock ’em out fights and come out stronger on the other end.
Girlfriends are so vital for me….I don’t understand the hate that women and girls perpetuate toward each other. We complain about the way men treat us, but I believe we are often our own worst enemies….oopps, slightly off-track there…that’s a whole other post…lol!!
Back to my story…..
We didn’t hand-pick each other in the beginning, as our mother’s were all friends when we were born….
We have remained the closest of friends throughout the entirety of our lives….by choice. We are different and we were never clicky…..we all had other friends, but we all cherish, honor and are faithful to our friendship. We have so many memories….a lot of good, some bad. We have seen each other through various ups and downs. We are like family…the 3 of our families spent every Christmas Eve together, but somehow these ladies are even better than family…sweeter somehow…I guess because we choose each other, close as family, but because we choose it, not out of “family obligation.” We were at every birthday party, spent countless nights having sleepovers and as I said Christmas Eve was a Holiday we shared…..
In march of 2004, we lost one of our dear loves to a drowning. Debbie rescued her son, but lost the fight for her own life in a very tragic incident.
She is missed.
What makes me the most sad….and there are many things, but the most prominent in my mind…the thing that makes my heart hurt the most is that her son, he was so young at the time of her passing, will never TRULY know her; her love for him. Yes, he is told stories, but it isn’t the same.
There is a song out now….every time I hear it, I think of Debbie and my heart aches that she is gone…..
I miss picking up the phone and calling her with the ins and outs of our days. My heart aches when I talk with Tracey and their mom Kathy for their loss is so deep.
Her passing is shadowed in tragedy and it is easy to be consumed in anger by the callousness of the one person who was the catalyst in her death. It is often easier for many people to bury the name and memory of loved ones passed with them at their funeral….I admit, I am not good at this.
Am I sad she is gone…..tremendously.
Am I sad when I think of all of things she will never experience…absolutley.
However…I like to remember her….her spirit…her wonderful qualities, her quirks, the things that bugged me….I don’t want to bury the 33 years that Debbie blessed my life with her friendship. I want to talk about her…remind people of her, not her death….her.
I keep her alive this way.
Do you know someone who has recently lost a loved one?
Are you struggling in awkward silence searching for “THE RIGHT” thing to say?
My advice is this…and I could be wrong, but nevertheless….
Offer a hug.
Share a memory.
Share how you felt for the person.
Ask how they are….and then wait and LISTEN to their response.
Acknowledge their hurt and validate it.
Listen to their memories and share your own.
The only thing more tragic than the death itself, is to erase the memory and mention of the person altogether.
I don’t think a parent “heals” after the loss of a child, but I do believe the fond sharing of memories shines light into the dark vastness of the hurt. Perhaps the more light (more memories that are shared) that penetrates into the hurt is the path….maybe not to healing….maybe it simply leads to a new normal…a new and different way of encompassing the lost love into your life.
The Memory Of Me
I’d like the memory of me
to be a happy one.
I’d Like to leave an afterglow
of smiles when the day is done.
I’d like to leave an echo
whispering softly down the ways.
Of happy and laughing times
and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who
grieve to dry before the sun;
Of happy memories that I leave
behind when the day is done.
Miss you Deb!!
Cherish your loved ones for they are the sweet morsels of your life!
Make time for your friends…life isn’t life without them!