Thank you Irene for getting me off the hook with my sweet 6-year-old daughter! Bestow upon me, my friends, the Mommy of the Year Trophy and call it a day!! Amongst all of the hurricane preparations yesterday, Talia declared her readiness for the yanking of her top tooth! Here is a little trivia about me…..I LOVE YANKING TEETH! My children have all walked around for days at a time with hands covering their tender mouths to shield and protect their barely loose teeth from the crazy lady who receives some sort of sick pleasure as a result of extracting children’s teeth from their cute little heads…(a.k.a.)…ME!!
Talia: “Mom, I am ready for you to remove my tooth.”
Without skipping a beat I had a paper towel and my greedy little fingers in Talia’s mouth. There was a weak “ouch” which was immediately followed by “HEY, IT’S OUT!” And “Mommy, you are so good at that!” Yay me!
Look how cute!
Ordinarily (this is Talia’s 3rd tooth out), she holds onto her extracted tooth for several days BEFORE she wants to put it under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy. When she is ready… she announces to the family said readiness and WE ALL observe as she places the tooth delicately under her pillow IN THE EXACT PERFECT LOCATION….cuz there is one , ya know?!! This becomes my cue to put on my Tooth Fairy hat! Little booger that she is decided to shake things up a bit, I guess, and did the tooth placement INCOGNITO!!! Rrrrrrrrr.
This morning she came in my room and very monotonously, seemingly unaffected, enlightened me that her tooth was STILL under her pillow…..WHAT...I broke out in a cold sweat....my mind starts racing….DAMAGE CONTROL….must do damage control. Tooth Fairy broke a wing….nah. Tooth Fairy did leave money and your tooth slipped out from the hole in her bag she forgot to sew up, let’s go look again (slip some cash under as we inspect)…nah. WTH!! It is unfathomable that I have BLOWN the Tooth Fairy on my FIFTH and LAST child…c’mon!!
Talia: (interrupting the train wreck that had become my damage control thoughts) “Do you think the Tooth Fairy has to fly slower because of Hurricane Irene and so she is a little late?”
Me: (AHHHHH…that would be my chorus of Angels parting the sky and singing to me) “Why yes, sweetheart, that is EXACTLY what happened!” Phew.
Talia: “That’s what my brain thought, I will put it under my pillow again tonight, okay?”
Me: “Great idea!”
And so I say to you Irene…Thank You for freeing me from being the worst mom ever….now GO AWAY!